Starting a new habit? Set the bar low.

Starting something new and actually sticking with it is incredibly hard, no matter how much we think we want it. In physical therapy, the discussion of habits often arises with figuring out which ones to drop and which ones to develop or nurture. When chipping awat at something new, it's disheartening when you put in less effort than you expected of yourself. But therein lies the rub! It's the expectation that's the problem!

In spite of the familiar tendency to jump all in only to fall all out, there are some things to keep in mind when trying to build a new habit or explore a new lifestyle choice. This isn't the typical "make a schedule or a to-do list" advice. These are points to bend your way of thinking.

When trying something new, a useful skill to develop is called frustration tolerance. In her interview with Dr. Huberman, Dr. Becky talks about the importance of learning frustration tolerance for adults and kids alike. I had never heard this term before but man, it was powerful for me. Now, whenever I feel myself getting frustrated over learning something new or trying to create a new habit and falling short, I tell myself, "I can tolerate this feeling of frustration. It's okay to be frustrated. This means I'm doing something new." I also think frustration can be a wise teacher and begs to be asked, "Is frustration here because this is a new task for me? Or do I actually not enjoy or have no interest in doing this?" Of course, our lives aren't full of only things we enjoy. But there is a difference between doing something that is hard but we appreciate vs. doing something that is hard and we hate. For example, I don't like resistance training but I know it improves my bone mineral density and keeps me strong for running so I do it. On the other hand, I don't like making pottery because...well...I actually hate everything about it. So I stopped going to class and gave my clay away! I later learned I prefer drawing instead. Anyhow, the point is, there are so many different avenues to explore for how to move our bodies and take care of ourselves. Go find what works for you! Check out this wonderful article about how things that are the most fulfilling may not be the most enjoyable but you do them anyway: A Surprising Route to the Best Life Possible by David Brooks

Sometimes a task seems too overwhelming to take on and so the first step is never made. In that same interview, Dr. Becky references her old elementary school teacher, Ms. Edson, who had told the class,"If something feels too hard to start, it just means the first step isn't small enough." Amazing! I have experienced this head-on with 5-10 minute exercise videos from the Peloton exercise app and the postpartum app Chelsea Method (I'm sure there are more apps out there but these are the ones I have used.). I used to think an exercise session that was only 5 minutes long was hardly worth doing but I was wrong! I even felt stronger and my muscles were sore as the workouts progressed! It was such a good reminder that a little bit of movement does so much more than we realize and it is absolutely better than doing nothing at all. Only have time for a 5-minute walk at lunchtime? Take the walk!

Although goals are helpful, sometimes they may mask what we really want. Mentored by Moshe Feldenkrais, Anat Baniel's book Move Into Life discusses what she calls The Nine Essentials for Vitality. The seventh essential is Flexible Goals. Incredible, right? It sounds funny after being brought up in a society that is so hungry for goals. My favorite quote she wrote about this is, "Vitality and health are fostered by adopting a free, flexible, playful attitude towards goals, embracing mistakes, and making room for miracles." Sometimes working towards a specific goal reveals a new direction that we like even better so be open to pivot when it's right. I highly recommend her book to hear her perspective about well-being as well as discover some movements to practice.

Are you a little bit of a perfectionist? I can be too. It is common to feel that if an exercise session or movement doesn't look or feel a certain way, then it's a failure. It doesn't help that marketing ads and social media are filled images of attractive people in attractive matching workout outfits. Is that how I'm supposed to look? Of course not. One of the strongest cyclists I've ever met was a California man named Kenny who wore Vans and used flat pedals on his road bike. In the road cycling arena, this is unheard of. He was such a strong rider and didn't feel like he had to fit the mold with how good cyclists are "supposed" to look. We have to stay true to who we are and in doing so, we will do things differently. In a recent newsletter from the Mindfulness and Health Institute, a tip they suggest is, "Noticing the desire for things to be "perfect" and allowing them to be "good enough".

An amazing practice to adopt is getting in tune with how your body feels. I'm reminded of an article by Rick Hanson when I say, notice how you feel after you do something positive for your body, such as drinking water instead of soda or going for a walk. Notice how your body feels when you do something less positive, such as eating poorly or sitting for hours. For example, notice how after exercise, your breathing improves, your mood lifts, and you feel calm. Notice how when you are physically stronger, you often feel stronger on the inside too. Sit with these amazing feelings. Let them sink in. Enjoy them. Those amazing feelings can be used as fuel to make wise choices again.

Trying to start a new habit or try a new lifestyle choice can be hard. Just remember you can tolerate the frustration, take small steps, have flexible goals, and put in the work that sometimes feels only "good enough". You can do this.

Every day is a fresh start.